


Only Ever freida's

by DisposableVillain



Category: Only Ever Yours - Louise O'Neill
Genre: Angst and Feels, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexuality, Canon Compliant, F/F, Gay, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Introspection, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Character, Love Triangles, Rainbows, Suicide, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2019-11-03 18:49:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17883308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisposableVillain/pseuds/DisposableVillain
Summary: isabel was designed to be perfect. Just like the other eves. But something went wrong. She was made more perfect than the others. Too perfect.  And being too perfect always comes with a price.[freidabel]





	Only Ever freida's

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, for those of you who don't know me, I'm Elliot. This is an old fic I'm posting in 2019 but with the original date I wrote it. Hope you enjoy. And yes, all the names are meant to be lower case.

**CW: Self hatred, implied sui**

isabel was designed to be perfect, just like the other eves. But something had gone wrong when she was being designed.

She had been made more perfect than the rest. Too perfect.

She loathed it. She loathed _herself_. She loathed everything about her.

Her hair, her skin, her eyes.

From fourth to sixteenth year at School, she had grown used to eves staring at her.

For the first eleven years, it was with jealousy. Everyone wanted to look like her; they all wanted to be the #1 eve. She had wanted to scream at them. To tell them that she would prefer to trade lives. To become megan, or freida, or heidi, or agyness. To become any one of them.

Just not herself.

Then sixteenth year started and isabel gained weight; a stone and a half. She was a hundred and thirty nine pounds. More than any other eve had weighed. Ever.

The jealousy became pity and disgust. Even freida, her best friend for the best of sixteen years, avoided her. It was what she had wanted, but that didn't mean that it was painless.

In fact, it was the exact opposite.

Halfway through the year, she was taken out of School for a few days and the fat was taken out of her. She was given a complete make-over after the liposuction.

Made beautiful. Made _perfect_. Told not to let it happen again.

So instead of eating chocco-flavoured foods that she didn't even like, pasta and pancakes from the Fatgirl buffet, she didn't eat. At all. She lost five stone. She weighed sixty nine pounds. Less than any other eve had weighed. Ever.

Anything to make herself less beautiful. Anything to make herself less worthy of becoming a companion.

But then freida broke the rules.

"Please; you can't send her Underground!" isabel insisted, gripping the sides of her ePad so tightly that her knuckles turned even whiter than her hair.

"I can and I will." The Father didn't look at her out of the ePad's screen as he straightened his cloak. "She broke the rules." The same argument had been going on for nearly an hour.

"She was desperate; she just wanted to become a companion," isabel protested. "It's all she wanted since we were fourth years; it's her dream."

"After proclaiming her love before marriage and trying to coerce an Inheritant to choose her on the day of the Ceremony, she'll never be a companion, or even a concubine."

"I know that she shouldn't have done it, but she just wants her dream to come true so badly..." isabel trailed off. She had been saying the same thing over and over again.

The Father shook his head. "Her fate is sealed." He paused. "However..."

isabel's heart leaped. "Yes?"

He looked up at isabel. "I will only sentence her to the life of a chastity. She will stay at the School, though she won't be able to teach eves. Not after what she did. But she will be alive, and she won't go Underground. But only if you maintain regulation weight and accept your future as my companion."

isabel looked down, hugging her stomach. She could feel her ribs through her loose tank top. She didn't want to... But it was for freida. She would do anything for freida. "Fine... I'll do it... Just don't send her Underground..."

The Father chuckled. "You really would do anything for her, wouldn't you? I'm almost jealous." isabel stayed silent. "I need to go. The trial is about to start." The Father gave her a stern look. "Go and get some dinner."

isabel nodded and turned off her ePad, ending the connection. She lay back on her bed. _I mustn't cry. Good girls don't cry. Good girls don't cry._ A tear slipped down her cheek and she brushed it away. She wasn't a good girl. She was too perfect. There was always something wrong with people like her.

She closed her eyes and saw freida. Her dark skin, her S41 Delicate Iced Chocco hair, her #66 ChindiaYellow eyes. 

The short, silky black nightdress she had been wearing when they snuck out after curfew at the beginning of the year. Back when they were still friends. 

isabel sighed and sat up.

freida wouldn't have been her friend if she had known the truth. The Genetic Engineers may have been able to isolate the Rainbow24 gene in women, but they didn't know about the Rainbow25 gene. Or at least, not before isabel and her year of eves had been created.

And besides, some things just couldn't be controlled. The Rainbow25 gene was one of those things.

Like megan when she had told everyone about the female aberrants. isabel snorted.

She didn't get why megan would make such a big deal about it. It only made it more likely that she would be discovered. The Rainbow25 gene may not have been as strong in the others as it was in isabel, but they were still attracted to females.

And the nights that megan had spent with isabel over the summer had been enough for megan to send her several warning looks when the news spread. heidi had done the same thing.

agyness had simply trusted isabel not to tell anyone. isabel wasn't sure why megan and heidi hadn't as well. It wasn't as though she could turn them in without turning herself in.

Not even the Father's companion was immune to the punishment given to every female aberrant.

isabel closed her eyes. This time she saw the Father.

_"I'm almost jealous."_

A cold smirk adorned isabel's lips. _You should be._

It was an unending cycle.

freida would give anything to be the Father's companion.

The Father wanted isabel to be His.

isabel longed for a girl that would never love her back.

isabel was too perfect. Being too perfect always came with a price.

In isabel's case, that price was the strong Rainbow25 gene in her.

In her case, that price was the girl she loved. The only one she could imagine kissing and actually _feeling_ something.

In her case, that price was freida.

isabel stood up and opened her door. In a few days, she would be ready.

Ready to feel nothing.

Forever.

But first, she would make sure that freida was okay.

She opened the door and left the room. She wouldn't sleep there tonight. She never did on the last night of the year.

The door closed for the last time, leaving the room empty.

Just like isabel's heart.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed, please review.


End file.
